


Shifting Around The Truth

by psyfic, smutty_claus



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-14
Updated: 2013-12-14
Packaged: 2018-01-04 14:35:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1082153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psyfic/pseuds/psyfic, https://archiveofourown.org/users/smutty_claus/pseuds/smutty_claus





	Shifting Around The Truth

**To: karasu_hime  
From: Your Secret Santa**

>   
> **Title:** Shifting Around The Truth  
>  **Author:**  
>  Odogoddess **Pairing:** Severus Snape/Nymphadora Tonks  
>  **Summary:** One dark night, Severus Snape made love to Nymphadora Tonks. Then everything went tits up. What's a lovestruck Metamorphmagus Auror to do?  
>  **Rating:** hard R  
>  **Length:** ~14,660  
>  **Warnings:** none of the major ones, but these minor kinks: desperate encounter, female on top, fingering, flangst, frotting, handjob, smoking, snark, snogging  
>  **Author's notes:** This fic uses book canon. Direct quotes from Harry Potter  & The Half-Blood Prince are italicised to set them apart at the start of one section. The rest of the fic is from my own smutty imagination and the assistance of my kind beta who shall go unnamed here, but who will be receiving much chocolate for her efforts. , you mentioned in your request that you enjoyed stories that answer how a couple get together and what roller coaster they go through, banter, take-charge females and a happy ending. I hope you enjoy the results! Merry Holidays!

* * *

Early June 1996

"Well?"

Nymphadora tilted her head even as her riot of magenta-coloured hair shifted to a deep royal blue. "That's where one draws water, Snape."

His nostrils flared with irritation, and, as acrid smoke issued from them, it made him look nothing so much like a vexed dragon. 

He swore under his breath, drew in a long deep drag of his cigarette before flicking it off and dousing it magically, tucking the unsmoked half into a pocket hidden in his voluminous cloak. Ignoring her, he turned to stalk off and down the stairs from the Astronomy Tower, clearly intending to ascertain the situation for himself. 

"They're safe," Tonks said with a weary sigh. He paused and glared at her, but she merely finished, "Harry's fine. He's a bit bruised, but he's fine. The same can't be said for some of the students, though, or for that matter, the Order Members."

Snape nodded. "Yes. Minerva is in St Mungo's, as well. She'll recover they say, but we'll be short-handed. Filius is currently in charge as we thought I might be needed... or summoned. I was hoping for word from Albus."

Nymphadora shook her head. "Harry is with him, in his office, and the Headmaster asked that they not be interrupted. He needs to talk to him." 

"Damnable brat, running off half-cocked." 

She drew in closer, a defensive tone to her voice which was clipped. "He was worried about Sirius." 

Snape stood taller, lips pressed reflexively in a moue of distaste, but his tone was silky and bemused. "To whom do you think I was referring?"

To his surprise, however, the Auror did not smirk or find this amusing. Tonks usually gave as good as she got in their verbal spats; it was one of the reasons he found her reasonably tolerable. It was one of the reasons they had been circling one another for most of the term, relishing their skirmishes, adjudging each other as potential bed partners. Now she winced, before closing her eyes tightly and looking down, turning away. His stomach clenched. 

"Nymphadora?" His tone was softer now, a rumble of uncertain sound. 

To his surprise, she whipped around to face him, eyes suspiciously damp and blazing now with a fiery expression he could not read. "Don't you call me that!"

Before he could say or do anything, Severus Snape found himself being snogged, fiercely and without recourse to either defence or surrender. Her fingers were clenching his cloak, her lips pressed bruisingly to his own. He tasted salt and wondered if it was tears or blood. 

He tried to speak and lifted his hands to her forearms, hoping to gentle her back, but she clung tighter before breaking her lips free of his to draw in a ragged breath which she expelled in a tortured shriek. 

" _He's dead!_ " She drew in a tight, strangled breath to glare up at him, voice hoarse with feeling. "H-he's dead, you bastard. Sirius is dead."

Then Nymphadora Tonks issued a broken sob before pulling closer to him, still holding his cloak and burying her face into his chest and beginning to cry. 

 

* * * 

 

Severus woke at the sound of a gentle cough. He instinctively held the warm, sleeping form closer to him before deciphering the sound and what it meant, before looking over his shoulder to find Dumbledore's bearded, bespectacled face in his fireplace which was currently behind him... behind his bare backside. 

Face warming at being found in this way, Snape turned back toward the sleeping Auror and began to gently extricate himself from her grasp. He was not worried about waking her; she had requested Dreamless Sleep after they had coupled, not wishing to suffer nightmares after the events at the Ministry, and he had obliged her. 

Once on his knees, he glanced at the fireplace to find the Headmaster studiously looking away and gratefully grabbed his trousers from the low table and sat back to slip them on his long legs. He stood to fasten them and summoned his shirt which he drew on over his head, atop which he drew his cloak which he quickly fastened, covering his hastily dressed appearance. 

He had decided he appeared respectable enough when he realised he remained barefoot. Stifling a groan, he ran fingers through his tangled hair and scanned the room until he found his boots. Slipping them on, he stepped to the fireplace and with one last glance back at the sleeping woman on his spell-cushioned rug, covered only with the shawl he normally kept on his couch, Severus Snape stepped through into Albus Dumbledore's office.

 

"I take it this was not a planned event?"

Snape felt his face heat, but he merely nodded. 

"This could have come at a better time," Dumbledore said with a sigh. 

Snape bristled. "I can keep my involvement with the Order from him and I can keep this, as well." 

Albus looked at his deputy before shaking his head. 

"You don't understand, my boy. Events have thrown a spanner in the works. Certain situations must now be hastened."

Snape frowned. "To what situations do you refer?" 

"This happenstance between you and Ms Tonks is regrettable." 

"Why?" 

A knock on the door interrupted them, followed by the heavy door creaking open to reveal a haggard-looking Remus Lupin. He nodded, presenting Severus with a weak and forced smile. 

"Headmaster. Severus."

"Thank you for coming, my boy. I was just apprising Severus of our situation." 

Lupin nodded and Snape bit back a growl of frustration. 

"Rather there has been less apprising than of hints of same," he demurred.

Lupin's smile firmed at this and he shook his head slightly with obvious amusement. This was both because he found Snape's bombastic manner amusing, but also because he knew it would irk his one-time nemesis. 

"Yes, well, let us have it out in the open, as the Muggle saying goes," Dumbledore said, spreading his arms to gesture that both men sit before his desk before turning to sit behind it himself. 

Once seated, the elder wizard considered them. "I regret very much the discomfort this might cause or create, but needs must." 

Neither man said anything in reply. Albus sighed. 

"Very well, then. Remus, my boy, you must attempt to establish a foothold, as it were, in the werewolf community."

"Greyback," Lupin said with distaste, seeming to understand without being told. 

"Yes. Your old enemy. We must discover what their intent is and if it can possibly be turned or averted." 

Lupin nodded, and then turned to Snape with a quirky smile. "You might get your wish at long last, Severus. Chances are they'll tear me apart."

"You will take steps to lessen this," Dumbledore replied before Snape could say anything. His blue eyes looked from one man to the other. "You will be seen to court... and marry... Ms Tonks." 

Remus responded as Snape sat, stunned and baffled. 

"No! That would be unconscionable. It would ruin her good name, and besides, I have no wish to marry her." 

"Needs must, my boy." Albus reminded, lifting a hand to calm him. "Hear me out. She is an Auror and well able to hide and protect herself as well as provide a reliable go-between should you require deep infiltration into their community. As your mate she will not be questioned or detained or even touched , if I understand Werewolf societal rules, and I fancy that I do." 

"It's true, but..."

"It will also have the effect of drawing Riddle out. A werewolf marrying the daughter of a Pureblood from a prominent house? Very little could enrage him more."

"I could think of a few things that might," Snape retorted. His voice was terse, but he was aware Lupin would think nothing of this. "What troubles me is your cavalier disposal of Ms Tonks as if she were nothing more than a spare cloak you give to someone for the upcoming winter. What of her requirements and wishes? Not to mention her well-being." 

"Well said, Severus. For once we are in accord."

Dumbledore's eyes did not leave his deputy's, but his tone was mild. "She will be apprised. I did approach her last summer with various possible scenarios of future events. We had a quite stimulating discussion and Ms Tonks is a remarkably resilient young witch. I have no doubt as to her competence and willingness to engage our enemy... in this or any other fashion." 

"And what of my requirements and wishes?" Remus suddenly demanded. He looked away, distressed. "I just lost Sirius. How could you ask this of me at such a time?"

"I ask no less than I would be willing to accomplish myself, lads. Believe me. And timing is everything. No one will question two people drawn together at a time of sorrow. I would be willing to bet stranger relationships have happened over such events." 

Snape pressed his lips together, refusing to be baited, even as his black gaze glared at Dumbledore. Remus did not notice, still frowning and visibly upset. When he spoke, his voice was quiet. 

"And what will people say in the aftermath? When all is ended and Tonks and I part perforce? What can be told to save face and be thought trustworthy and be adjudged as maintaining honour and virtue?" 

"Here I thought only witches were so worried for their virtue and good name," Snape muttered in a vexatious tone. 

Lupin spun in his seat to glare at him. "Watch your step, Severus. You do not want me as your enemy." 

Snape's tone was mild. "Indeed? Here I thought we were already enemies." 

"Enough!" 

Albus's tone was sharp, but mild and both men settled back in their seats and sighed their frustrations rather than voice them. He studied them each and finally nodded. 

"I will speak to Nymphadora myself. Remus, you will see to Grimmauld. With Sirius's death, the wards might alter. There is also the matter of his legal affairs which must be attended. Please do make enquiries regarding your upcoming task and keep me apprised."

"Yes, Headmaster." Lupin stood and glared at Severus who refused to look in his direction. He finally nodded at them both and left the office. 

Snape spoke into the expectant silence. 

"Allow me to surmise -- you wish me to return to my quarters, wake Ms Tonks and send her to you." 

"No, indeed, my boy." Albus suddenly waved his wand and a puff of smoke became a piece of parchment which floated to the fireplace. Snape watched it warily. 

Dumbledore flicked his other hand from which issued a stream of sparkling grey ash which flared green as it struck the flames in the fireplace ahead of the parchment. "Severus Snape's quarters." 

He nearly stood, reflexively reaching for the paper despite it being several feet from his reach and watched it flash green and disappear with a feeling of dread. 

"Severus." 

He blinked and looked to the Headmaster who was studying him with a look of deep compassion. 

"I do apologise, but I need you much closer, even as I send you to your other master."

He considered this. "I have not been summoned." 

"You will go to Riddle. You will express concern for the events of the night. You will tell him, quite truthfully, should he enquire as to your absence that with Minerva gravely injured and in my absence, you were needed in your capacity as assistant deputy Headmaster. There will come a time this will be vital so you will tell him this and in those words." 

Snape nodded. "Very well, Headmaster. What of Ms Tonks? What should I tell her?"

Dumbledore shook his head. "No need. Let her say what she must and maintain your distance for the foreseeable future. It is imperative, Severus."

"So I am to treat her as if last night meant nothing and cut her loose while Lupin marries her." It was not a question nor did he imbue it with anything of what he was feeling. 

"It is only for convenience... for the nonce. There is nought between them, as you know."

Snape stood. "Of late, I know only what you or _He_ tell me. In the eyes of both, however, I can safely presume to be painted in the blackest of shades."

"Se--" 

"No need, Headmaster," he interrupted smoothly, pulling his cloak tighter about him as if needing the warmth as he headed toward the door. "I would rather not hear the blandishments of my subjugator." 

Snape paused before opening it, looking back at Dumbledore with less rage than rebuke. 

"I shall consider myself fortunate to have presented him the whole of my bared back and escaped without knife buried to its hilt."

"My boy..."

Severus's black eyes were glossy as he glared Albus into silence. 

"To say nothing of my heart," he murmured before exiting, so softly Dumbledore was not sure if he had actually heard it or not.

 

 

"You can't keep avoiding me." 

The steady sound of his bootheels striking the London pavement neither increased nor varied and yet Tonks found she was hard-pressed to catch up. 

"Fine. But you should know, I still have your knickers from that night." 

If she had not been listening to the cadence of his steps, she might have missed it. There was a split-second stutter, a miscue of firing nerves that caused his bootheel to come down a bit later than it ought. He did not, however, stop walking. 

"You'll have to talk to me eventually." 

The black-cloaked form rounded the street corner and Tonks paused there, drawing in a deep breath and closed her eyes, forcing herself to keep from shifting her appearance. It was a habit she had since childhood; shifting helped calm her nerves, provided her a touch of self-confidence. She could not do so, however, in the middle of a Muggle city in broad daylight and full view of several possible witnesses. 

"Best catch up with the big black bat," she muttered now and opened her eyes to find he was nearing Grimmauld Place. Once he did that, another chance to speak with him in private might not present itself until the school term began and she really hoped to speak with him.

Two weeks had passed. Two weeks of ignored letters, dismissed enquiries and one horribly awkward meeting of the Order in which he seemed to pretend she did not exist. 

Despite this callous treatment, Nymphadora could not help but feel there was more to the situation than met the eye. No one could make love like _that_ , she felt, and be unmoved. The very fact he refused to speak had given her hope. Tonks felt if he were truly desirous of being rid of her, he would not ignore her, but would give her the sharp edge of his talented tongue. 

"Traitor," she muttered, feeling a bit betrayed at how her heart leapt and her loins grew warmer at the thought of his tongue. Slightly agitated now, she nearly shifted her appearance in full view of a group of pensioners with Muggle binoculars, headed for the park and an afternoon of bird-watching. She closed her eyes briefly and focused on ensuring her currently violet-tinted hair remained so before hurrying her gait.

She had caught up with him when a voice made them both stop and turn. 

"Dora! Severus! Hallo!" 

Tonks frowned until she saw it was Remus. Brightening, she went to go hug him in greeting, forgetting the positioning of her feet in the process. She went down in a twisting spiral and found herself suddenly being held up by four strong male arms. Nymphadora smiled even as she blushed. 

"Goodness. If I had known this was the way to get manhandled by two strapping blokes I'd have done it a long time ago," she quipped, then nearly fell as Snape snatched his hands back, removing them from her arm where he had been steadying her as if he'd been hexed. 

"Severus!" Remus looked mildly appalled as he re-adjusted his own grip to keep Tonks from falling, although Tonks merely laughed. 

"I knew you cared," she averred, smiling sweetly at the now-scowling Snape. 

"If you are quite through making a spectacle of yourself and calling the attention of every Muggle in the area..." 

"No, actually," she intoned, gently pulling free of Lupin with a grateful pat to his arm before turning back to Snape and launching herself to press a kiss to his lips, parted in a startled gasp. When she was through, she slid down with slow deliberation, pressing herself fully against him and avoiding his attempt to pull back. Her tone was a bit breathless as she looked up at him with a touch of hope in her expression. "There. _Now_ I'm through."

Lupin chuckled nervously and Snape snorted irritation, turning rapidly but not before Tonks noted the flush of colour along his jaw which suffused the ear she could see.

 

Snape glared at Tonks when he was not glaring at the surface of the table, Dumbledore noted. 

Lupin sat beside the Auror and was making polite, but pointed chit chat, designed, it seemed, to keep her attention. It worked, as she had eyes only for Remus.

Albus coughed and all attention turned to him. He looked around, noting Arthur and Molly Weasley, Mundungus Fletcher, Arabella Figg and Minerva McGonagall before he nodded sadly. 

"For those who have not yet heard - Emmeline Vance has been killed."

There were varying reactions of surprise and sadness, but only Remus asked, "Do we know who did it?"

Albus looked to Snape briefly before shaking his head. "It remains a mystery. Alastor is heading the enquiry even as I speak." 

"Severus, was it the Death Eaters?"

Snape's black eyes were steady as they gazed on Molly Weasley. His voice was solemn. 

"I would be surprised if it was not related to them or their activities."

"You will let us know if you discover anything," Arthur requested, adding to the rest, "Emmeline is a cousin of Molly's, twice-removed." 

Remus added his own condolence to the rest of the group's murmured expressions of sympathy at this, but kept his eyes on Snape. His jaw had tightened fractionally at Arthur's words and he had shared a gaze with Dumbledore no one else saw, but which left Remus wondering.

 

A week later, Snape stepped from his home into a pouring rain, slamming the door with great force and ensuring the wretched beast, Wormtail, was thereby trapped within due to the many private enchantments spelled into his home. It was the only respite he had from the foul creature, given the Dark Lord's insistence on his providing Pettigrew accommodation. No wizard or witch would question a homeowner's protection spells over their domicile, not even the Dark Lord. 

He wore a woollen top coat over his usual robes as well as a rather tatty homburg, also made of wool, which deflected at least some of the rain. He also wore a rather dour expression and was clearly deep in thought which explained why he ran straight into the old woman in a rain bonnet and Mack. 

"Pardon me." He held a hand out to steady the woman. To his surprise, she took it and pulled him into the nearby alleyway with a surprisingly firm grip. 

He was about to use a non-verbal hex when the woman looked up at him, white stringy hair growing longer and sleeker and a soft, lustrous brown. Her bright blue eyes shifted to a warm woollen shade of grey. 

"What are you doing?" He demanded now, nettled. 

"I could ask the same of you," she hissed, letting his arm go. "What the hell are Narcissa Malfoy and bloody Bellatrix Lestrange doing at your house?!" 

Snape's already pale face paled a bit further and he glared at her. "Are you spying on me now?"

"No, you great wazzock! We're tailing the Malfoys. Mad Eye's watching Draco and some other Death Eaters at the Manor; I followed Narcissa and her mad sister here. I didn't know it was your place until I saw you leave. I take it they Floo'd out?" 

Snape scowled, clearly reluctant to answer, but admitted, "They Disapparated from my sitting room." 

Tonks nodded and looked around quickly before suddenly lifting her hand which held her wand and waving it in an almost idle fashion, smiling up at him as she declared, "Expecto Patronum!" 

A burst of silvery blue light emerged, coalescing into a large bat which flapped and fluttered about. 

"Suspect Disapparated from premises. It's past my shift, Mad Eye. I'm going to eat and head home," she told the bat, adding. "I'll write up a surveillance summary and hand it in tomorrow." 

The bat dipped up and down, then side to side, seeming to be affected by the wind, before spreading its wings and disappearing into the rain. Snape lifted a brow. 

"Interesting Patronus." 

"Used to be a kitten," she admitted. "I like this one better." 

"Considering its method of flight it will be a wonder if it arrives at its destination," he muttered. 

"I suppose yours is more impressive," she countered, before poking a finger to his chest. "And don't think you can distract me, Snape. What was Bellatrix Lestrange doing in your house?" 

He lifted a brow at this before drawling, "Visiting?" 

"So you get visits from deranged escaped criminals on a regular basis, do you?"

"And their sisters." 

Tonks snorted with frustration. "Snape. It's me. You know - Tonks, the Auror, fellow Order member, the woman you turned into putty with your hands and lips and co--"

"I do recall," he retorted dryly. He drew closer, leaning in to speak in a hoarse whisper. "It is not wise for us to meet, even in this way. What happened between us was equally unwise." 

Both stared at each other, the tension growing even as the rain began to fall even harder. 

"I don't think helping someone else, comforting them, is unwise," Tonks whispered, eyes growing suspiciously damp. 

"If that's what you believe, I cannot gainsay you," he muttered repressively, but he did not move away. 

"It meant something to me, Severus," she admitted, studying his face. He remained impassive. She changed tack, saying mischievously, "I still have your knickers, you know."

"Your proclivity for thievery is of no interest to me, nor is any predilection you may have for wearing men's underthings."

"Really? Well, maybe this is of interest -- Remus has been asking me out," she added now, as if idly. 

He did not look away, nor did he say anything, one cheek muscle twitching slightly as if trying to flick off the rain trail that dripped along it and ran under the neckline of his coat. 

"What should I tell him?" 

"Why ask me?"

Tonks noted the raspiness, the tightness of his voice and the fierce expression in his eyes and sighed. Anyone else would say he was angry, she knew, but she was not so sure. He was such a confusing man. 

_And you still feel something for him, dammit._

He still had not moved or left, which added to the puzzle. What was he waiting for?

"We should really get out of this rain," Tonks finally whispered. 

"For once, I entirely agree," he retorted.

She drew closer and he did not move back. 

When she reached to place her hands on his chest, Snape spun around and Apparated.

 

"Fudge met with the Muggle Prime Minister about the deaths," Shacklebolt reported succinctly. 

Severus, Kingsley, Mad Eye, Remus and Albus were in the Headmaster's office. 

"And young Mr Malfoy has been assigned a grave task, or so I am reliably informed," Dumbledore said with a heavy sigh. 

"Oh, and what might that be?" 

Snape scowled at Moody and muttered, "I am not privy to every detail of the Dark Lord's assignments." 

"Convenient," the Auror muttered. 

"Yes, it is, Mad Eye." Remus said before either could say anything further. "We have been forewarned and I, for one, am thankful Severus is in position to alert us to such things." 

Snape said nothing, although his nostrils flared in momentary irritation.

Dumbledore nodded, distracting the group. "I quite agree, Remus my boy. It is my firm belief that Draco might well have been ordered to kill or seriously injure Harry Potter, perhaps weakening him in preparation for an eventual meeting with Voldemort."

He looked at Snape as he finished this statement, who straightened although his expression did not change, even as Moody thumped his wooden staff with irritation on the floor. 

"Great Merlin's milkless tits!" Mad Eye seemed shaken. "We'll have to be at the school then, to protect the boy. Albus, you'll have to make the request to the Ministry--"

"I'll take it as a given," Shacklebolt suddenly intoned. "I take it you would like a deputation of Aurors at Hogwarts this year, Headmaster? Let us say... because of the deaths and the Death Eater activity, you would feel safer, no better to say you believe the parents will feel safer with some Aurors at the school. That the public can rest assured the Ministry is minding the welfare of our children." 

"Indeed, Kingsley, that would be most appreciated," Albus said sincerely, smiling up at him. 

"I'll make sure Mr Moody and Ms Tonks are among those deputed," Kingsley said reassuringly, smiling back. 

Albus looked briefly to Severus, who merely stared back, still expressionless, glanced at where his hexed hand rested on his knee and sighed again. He looked back to Kingsley and nodded. 

"Thank you again for coming on short notice, gentlemen. If you would stay, Remus."

"Of course, Albus."

The rest began to leave and the Headmaster lifted a hand. "Oh, and Severus, my boy. I should like a word with you, as well."

Snape paused, before turning back and standing before the desk as the rest exited. 

Lupin looked a bit nervous, but he merely said, "What do you require of me, Headmaster?" 

"This regards Ms Tonks, my boy. I received a Patronus from her yesterday. It was a bit of a revelation, I would say." He glanced at Snape, who remained expressionless, before focusing on Lupin again. "I did suggest she work on changing it. Simply making it non-corporeal would be sufficient for the time being." 

Remus glanced at Snape, who ignored him, before sighing. "Albus. Perhaps it would be best to bring her in on this ruse."

"I judge that unwise at this time. You see, despite her Auror's training, Ms Tonks' metamorphmagus abilities, while powerful and exceedingly useful, also make her vulnerable in one crucial way. It is not commonly known, but a Metamorphmagus's natural fluidity of form also makes it difficult for them to focus with the intensity required to withstand Legilimency. If she were aware of our intent, beyond the vaguest of notions..." 

"I see, Headmaster. Very well. I will double my efforts." 

"I have every faith, my boy." 

Remus's face reddened. "I appreciate that, Albus, but... she is not responding at all as I'd hoped to my, er, blandishments." 

"Fancy," Snape suddenly said in a snide tone of voice. "The woman has sense enough to prefer not to date a dark creature." 

Lupin glared at this, angered. His normally pleasant tone grew flat and icy. "If that were true, Severus, she would never have been with _you_." 

They had barely begun to move, bristling, when the Headmaster suddenly interposed himself between the two men, pushing them further apart with a burst of raw magic which crackled from his outstretched hands. Lupin paled, staring. 

Snape followed Lupin's line of sight to note Dumbledore's curse-stained hand was nearly pressing against his chest. He stepped back, nodding formally at him. 

"Headmaster." 

Remus blinked, and nodded agreement. "Yes, Headmaster. I'm sorry." 

"I am not the one who deserves an apology, my boy, but that is something private between the two of you. I am more concerned with your assignment among the werewolf clans. Your reluctance could jeopardise this." 

"I won't let it. I... I just need more time."

"Very well. With Ms Tonks assigned to Hogwarts, I'm sure there will be opportunities." 

Lupin nodded, and then gave in to his curiosity. "Albus... what happened to your hand?" 

The Headmaster waved it negligently and headed for the chair behind his desk again. 

"A tall tale, my boy, that I do not have the time to relate at the moment. We all have our work cut out for us, you more than many. I wish you well with your task."

Lupin exhaled deeply and nodded. "Yes. Thank you, Headmaster. I will take my leave then." 

He glanced at Snape who merely stared at him with an icy expression, and then left. 

Dumbledore did not dissemble. 

"Will her presence here affect our goals?" 

Snape shook his head. "No, Headmaster." 

Albus studied Severus for a while, and when he spoke his voice was gentle. 

"This will be a difficult year at best, my boy. There is scarcely a need to complicate matters." 

Snape's stance was stiff, his tone stilted. "I'm aware of my duties, Headmaster."

"Your sense of duty has never been in question, Severus."

Snape said nothing.

Albus sighed. "I will take measures to ensure she is not assigned to the Dungeons... and that you are not assigned to patrol where she must, perforce, work." 

Severus's gaze was implacable. "If that is all, Headmaster." 

"For now." 

Snape gave him a stiff head bow and exited the room, leaving an icy silence in his wake.

* * *

_1 September 1996_

Snape looked up to find a mousy-haired Tonks peering at him from his office doorway. He repressed a sigh and spoke in a clipped tone. 

"I am going to speak to the new students sorted into my house. I do not have time for idle chatter."

Nymphadora's voice was small and pained. "Is that how you describe what we had? Idle chatter?" 

"I do not describe it and I would thank you not to discuss such things in the hallway where anyone might hear you and receive the wrong impression."

She made a face and stepped into his office, closing the door. 

"No one is out here. I checked." She lifted her chin. "I am an Auror, you know."

"You are not here in your official capacity. Quite frankly, I am not sure why you are here at all. Given the state of your Patronus, I have grave reservations about your fitness to protect yourself, much less anyone else."

Her eyes grew moist and reproachful. "Severus. I know what's going on. Lupin pushing, you pulling away. Albus spoke to me some time back about doing things for the good of the Order. I understand." 

"We would appear to be in disagreement then," Snape riposted, standing with a scroll in his hand. "I do not believe you understand anything of what is going on, as you put it." 

"If you have to focus on an assignment or don't want encumbrances, just tell me. Don't try to tell me you didn't care," she implored. "Severus, we had something once. It was good." 

A muscle in his cheek twitched. "The operative word is 'once,' Nymphadora." 

"Don't call me that!"

"I regret that you feel it was more than what it was," he continued as if she had not spoken. "I regret if this troubles you. However, even if circumstances were different, I am not free to engage in a liaison with anyone. I have duties, to the Order, to Albus and to this school."

She studied him as he made his way behind his desk, headed for the door. He paused by her chair, as if waiting for her to stand as well, as if he did not trust her to leave his office on her own. 

When he kept standing there, she finally drew in a deep breath and blew it out forcefully, standing and when he turned toward the door, she touched his arm to make him turn back to her. 

"Fine. I accept your well-rehearsed little speech, but it doesn't mean I agree or that I will forget you." She moved closer to him and she noted how he gripped the scroll in his hand even tighter. It caused her to give him a weary little smile. Her voice was soft and regretful, much as the touch she bestowed to his resolute jaw. 

" _Because I can't_." 

She turned from him then and opened the door, striding out of the office

* * *

_20 March 1997_

Scotland was always cold, Tonks reminded herself as her breath puffed about her like billowing fog. The fact she was somewhat overheated from climbing so many stairs contributed to the effect. 

_Not getting any younger, old girl,_ she remonstrated herself. But it wasn't youth, it was muscle power that was lacking, really. 

Still, it wasn't her fault despite an Auror's endurance training, for Nymphadora Tonks was a Hufflepuff. The Gryffindors with their third floor rooms and the Slytherins who descended five floors to reach their dungeon demesnes and ascended them every day to attend classes had nothing on the thigh power of the Ravenclaws who ascended and descended from their seventh floor roosts every day. Ravenclaws had the highest percentage of arthritic complaints later in life; Hufflepuffs the fewest. Conversely, however, Ravenclaws had the least lung problems in their older years whereas Hufflepuffs...

"We Huffs just like to stay close to the ground, is all," she muttered in a wheezy breath as she rounded the final landing to the astronomy tower. She bent forward to lean hands on her aching thighs and catch her breath. 

She jumped slightly at the deep voice behind her which spoke in a snide and insinuative tone, still soft despite its undisguised ire. 

"Was it your choice or were you assigned to spy on the spy?" 

"Crikey, Snape - you nearly gave me a turn," she chided, standing to hold a hand to her heart. She could feel it thrumming beneath her fingertips, fancying it might be responding to her own nerves which remained unsteady as regarded the man before her. She knew she certainly felt less than certain around him, but who could blame her given their history?

He smirked slightly and exhaled a cloud of smoke in a thin stream which the slight wind carried away. Tonks shivered. 

Something in his eyes shifted minutely and he considered her. "You should have brought your robe. It's always brisk up here."

She straightened, suddenly vexed at his poise and insinuation. 

"Oh, so now you care? I thought you didn't give a niffler's nuts after ignoring me all this time!" 

To her surprise and irritation, he abruptly turned, seemingly bored by the conversation. She rounded on him then, anger growing. 

"Strike a nerve? I mean do you really care if I'm cold, Snape? Or do you think it's in any way your concern? I thought you made it clear you didn't care what happened to me, not after you left that note telling me to be gone before you returned, not after practically throwing me to Re--"

"Be silent." He wheeled around and gripped one of her arms warningly, dark eyes flashing. Her own turned an angry smoky amber as she spoke in a fierce whisper. 

"You don't get to tell me what to do, Snape. You made your choice. I don't care if we did fu--"

His non-verbal Silencing spell was accomplished with a simple gesture as he waved his free hand and then pulled her with him into a shaded alcove. 

She was assailed by his scent, both comfort and discomfort in one, reminding her of the time he enfolded her in his arms as she grieved, and then later when he held her face with sure and gentle hands as he tenderly kissed her after each lingering sob before moving to nuzzle and suckle her neck, making her woozy and forget herself as she buried her fingers into his hair, scratching his scalp as she held him closer and urged him to make her feel something besides sorrow and guilt. 

Now he shifted slightly, holding her slightly behind him as someone stepped up onto the landing and his eyes narrowed. He looked at her and touched fingers to his lips, shaking his head at her and using his eyebrows to convey his wish she remain where she was. 

Despite everything, despite her anger at his previous abandonment of her after a night of the sweetest passion she had ever known, despite his snide remarks in the intervening time that seemed designed to steal what self-esteem she possessed and made her examine and re-examine their relationship until her head seemed to constantly ache - Nymphadora trusted him. 

She nodded curtly and he stepped from the shadows and stalked up to the slender young man who was standing by a parapet, seeming to study the grounds from his vantage point. 

"I was not aware you were somehow exempt from the rules regarding curfew, Mr Malfoy." 

Tonks frowned as her young cousin turned. She had thought it was a Death Eater; a tall, slim figure in black, skulking about. Now she could see his pinched face, looking at Snape with a disdain that surprised her. 

Severus was his godfather, she knew. She thought it likely that every old pureblood family was aware; the connections between houses were well understood by every ancient wizarding clan. Snape might be a half-blood, but Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Black Malfoy had elevated his status immeasurably when they had chosen him as godfather to their heir. Nymphadora remembered her mother telling her she could remind him of her own connection in this regard should she be sorted into his house. The Sorting Hat had placed her in Hufflepuff, however, the house of her father, and the issue was moot. 

Was it, though, she had wondered in the wake of their one shared night. Was it guilt? Had he regretted sleeping with a former student, especially someone who had so recently been a student? Or was it that she was related to Sirius Black? The sorrows admitted to her doting, sympathetic mother had provided another possible explanation. Andromeda Black had been well aware of the enmity Severus held toward Sirius, as well as the regard he held for his brother, Regulus. It was common knowledge in the Order, as she had discovered in the aftermath, and Nymphadora could only wonder how he had been able to set aside such a level of raw hatred in order to make love to her if that was truly the case. 

It _was_ Snape making love to her, she knew, not _with_ her. She had been in no real shape to reciprocate and uncaring of same at the time. She had allowed him to do what he would and he had, treating her with such reverence and tender regard she still sometimes wondered if it had happened at all. Or was it a ruse to gain an in at the Ministry? Logic and Auror's training told her to consider it, but she had dismissed it in the same thought. If it had been, he would not have treated her with such poor regard afterward. They would still be in a devoted relationship; him further insinuating himself into her life. She knew this instinctively and knew it was not the case. 

So what was it? 

"Following me now? I thought you were the Dark Lord's fair-haired boy, so to speak," Draco said in a terse tone of what Tonks could tell was false bravado. "Come down a notch, eh?" 

"Twenty points from Slytherin." 

He was surprised. Tonks could see this. Colour flared in his pale face and then suffused his complexion with blotchy patches as he grew angry. 

"You can stuff house points. _Sir._ They're about as relevant as that vow you took." 

Tonks frowned. To what vow was her cousin referring? 

Snape was as still and silent as a stone, only the wind stirring the edges of his robes and ruffling his hair. She wished she could see his face, but she could only read the emotional weather in the stance and the set of his shoulders. He was, she suddenly realised, either terribly angry or horribly aggrieved. 

"Whatever I did or did not do is my own business, Mr Malfoy. And in this school, under this roof, what you do or do not do is also my business, both as teacher and your head of House."

To almost anyone else, Snape's tone would have seemed cold and implacable, except thanks to her Auror's training in a subject's body language, Tonks could read the underlying hurt in the rigid set of his shoulders. She was suddenly glad to be witnessing their conversation. Somehow she knew it had something to do with her dilemma with Snape. 

"I've told you -- I don't need your help. You know what I have to do," Draco declared. "Let me _do_ it." 

The silence was lengthy and the tension in it made Nymphadora's stomach clench. She wondered what the fool boy had gotten himself into. What task had he been given? 

"I cannot treat you differently to the other students, Draco. You know that. Your father expects it. What points you make or I have taken you have earned." 

"I could tell him. I could tell him you are obstructing me, not letting me do his bidding." 

"The Dark Lord will know if you engage in falsehoods, no matter if you can occlude your mind, Draco." 

"You're taking house points because I'm out after curfew when we both know I have cause to be out. I'm trying to do his bidding and you are stopping me. Where is the falsehood in that, godfather of mine?" 

The silence this time was not so lengthy, but she saw the minute shifting of Snape's shoulders, as if he came to a decision. 

"So you claim not to need my help and yet you invoke my position." 

"Fine. I don't think I can do this alone. Does that please you for me to admit it?" Draco's voice was strained, but utterly sincere. "I need _you_ , whether I like it or not. You are my only ally here."

Snape did not speak for some time. When he finally did, his voice was tense and clipped. 

"Potter is watching you. He knows where you go, but does not know why. He named you to his Head of House as a possible suspect in the cursing of the Bell girl. For all your stealth and precautions, he has seen something which has fingered you to him. He has had visions in the past which have been false, but some which are equally true, and the Headmaster believes he may well be a seer. Regardless of how you feel about Potter's reputation, his upbringing or his uninspiring marks in class, you do not want his enmity." 

"The Headmaster is a fool and so is Potter," Draco said with a sneer. 

"Harry Potter nearly destroyed the Dark Lord when he was but a puling infant, Draco. Anyone who dismisses his potential danger is more than a fool."

Pale grey eyes held defiance and a hint of disbelief. Tonks could nearly feel Snape's repressed frustration. His irritation, however, he gave voice to. 

"That is all the help I will give. You asked for it and I provided what I could. What you do with it is on your head." 

Snape's robes billowed in Draco's pointy face as he stormed down the stairs and Nymphadora was relieved when Draco scowled in an ugly fashion, swore and then headed down the stairs, as well. She was also concerned. What was going on?

* * *

_6 May 1997_

She could hear the commotion well before she stepped from the moving staircase to the Headmaster's Office. 

"--could well have been killed! What am I to tell his father? He will demand Potter's expulsion and we have little grounds to defend the boy, as you well know!"

"They have been at odds for all their years here and this incident might go unremarked for all we know. You did well, Severus, assigning him such a harsh and lengthy detention. For now, please do an old man a great favour and be seated."

There was a sound Tonks identified as Snape's irritated growl followed by a silence. She waited, hoping to hear more before she knocked on the door. 

"How do you feel, my boy?"

"How do you think I feel, Albus? One of my students, my godson, nearly died!"

"Your feelings do you credit, however, I am concerned about the vow."

Vow? Tonks frowned, pressing her head closer and automatically changing her ears to a wolf's sharper ones. 

"It is nothing. It summoned me to Draco's side as soon as Potter cursed him." 

"My boy..."

"My own bloody curse, Albus! I barely arrived in time. If he had died..."

"He is quite well, according to Madam Pomfrey. He will recover without incident, perhaps some minor scarring, but then scars are part of life and quite useful betimes."

"Albus. This scheme of yours... I don't know if I can do this."

Tonks froze now, ears straining. 

"Nor I, my boy, but needs must. Buck up. There are allies and help often comes from unexpected sources." There was a pause and she jumped when Albus opened the door before her. "Ah, Ms Tonks. Please come in."

She did, having almost fallen when he opened the door, and stepped toward the desk looking about until she caught sight of Snape, seated by the fireplace and looking paler than he usually did. 

"I was sent to make an Incident Report for the Ministry," she said uncertainly, looking worriedly at Snape and then questioningly back at Dumbledore. 

"Please Ms Tonks, take a seat." Albus waved her toward a chair and she noted now the unmistakable appearance of a curse-befouled hand. 

She glanced sharply at the Headmaster who did not appear to notice and then back to Snape. The hand was bad, and had every appearance of being of long-standing duration. Since her studies had informed her that those types of curses were rapidly and invariably fatal, yet the Headmaster stood before her, Tonks knew there was more than met the casually observant eye. 

She knew she was a bit clumsy at times, but Nymphadora Tonks was also quick-witted and could make rapid decisions. She smiled at Albus. 

"Thank you, Headmaster. It's good to be off my feet for awhile. Patrolling is interesting, but very tiring."

Dumbledore sat in his own chair and nodded. "Of course. I'll send for tea. It looks as if we could all do with some."

"That would be very nice, Headmaster, thank you."

"No trouble at all. Dobby!"

A rather strangely dressed elf, wearing a Hogwarts tea towel, one yellow and orange striped sock and one green sock with violet dots and tiny Muggle-style trainers popped into existence before the Headmaster's desk. 

"Dobby is here, Headmaster Sir."

"Would you be so good as to bring some tea and sandwiches?"

"Yes, Headmaster Sir," the elf enthused, looking about the room to determine how many tea cups would be needed. He noted Snape and, lastly, Nymphadora. To her surprise, the little elf suddenly tittered, covering his mouth with one hand before vanishing from the room with a snap of his fingers. 

"I dare say those come in handy when doing surveillance," Dumbledore said dryly, adding with a twinkle in his eye, "Not to mention they are rather stylish."

Tonks frowned and felt along her head at where the Headmaster was staring. She blushed when she felt her still furry wolf ears and changed them back.

"Yes, they do come in handy for surveillance," she said sheepishly. 

"Really?" Snape's tone was dry, but not droll. His voice was as snide as Tonks could ever recall. "Here I thought they were a tribute to your current _paramour_. Something to match that pathetic Patronus." 

"Severus." Albus had spoken before Tonks could respond and his tone was implacable. 

Snape sneered, but looked away and she could nearly feel the waves of resentment that seemed to radiate from him. 

She lifted her chin minutely. "I'll have you know while it might not be fully corporeal at the moment, it successfully repelled a Dementor attack over the holidays."

"Excellent," said Albus in a too-jovial tone. 

Dobby reappeared at that moment with full tray of tea and sandwiches which he placed atop the headmaster's desk, before bowing and disappearing. The too-jovial tone warmed to one of genuine appreciation. 

"I shall be mother. What would you like in your tea, Severus? There is milk, lemon, ci--"

"Ogden's," Snape replied succinctly, not turning back nor looking up. 

Tonks and Albus both lifted a brow, but the Headmaster recovered more swiftly. 

"I do love your sense of humour, my boy," he said with a slight chuckle, pouring a cup and adding lemon and sugar to it before turning to Tonks with a lifted brow. 

"Just milk, thanks," she said. 

Dumbledore poured it as directed and then his own, to which he added an inordinate amount of what appeared to be crystallised ginger and a stick of cinnamon. Snape was still looking away, staring into the fire so only Tonks saw Dumbledore uncap a small filigreed silver flask and pour some into the cup ostensibly for him. It was not, she noted, Ogden's or any other form of firewhisky with which she was familiar. 

"Severus?" 

The Potions Master finally looked up without interest and took the doctored cup of tea without thanks, merely nodding. 

"Now, you mentioned an Incident Report, Ms Tonks. I believe an Incident Report is rather excessive for a simple case of interhouse rivalry taken a bit far." 

She set her cup down, wondering idly if the Headmaster had ever doctored her own cup when she wasn't looking and considered her words. 

"We were given to understand one of the boys used a dark magic curse." 

Snape, having been sipping at his tea, suddenly snorted. "It wasn't a curse; it was a form of slicing hex."

"Yes. Severus healed Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter has been given a suitable punishment." 

"Yes," Snape agreed with a pointed look at the Headmaster as he added, "after all, we wouldn't allow school boys to play about with dark magic... any more than we would allow dark creatures to enter the school and possibly harm one of our students. Would we?"

"Quite." The Headmaster appeared suddenly more weary than Nymphadora ever remembered seeing him. He managed a tired smile in her direction. "So, as you can see, there is no need for any form of Incident Report." 

She set her untasted tea down and nodded. "All right. I'll let Kingsley know."

She stood and neither man looked at her. Severus sipped more of his tea and she felt her stomach suddenly clench in a weird form of what she recognised as sympathy. The man seemed desperately unhappy, but aside from his infamous temper and snide comments many of which she privately appreciated for their biting wit, he showed little of what else he might be feeling. 

Tonks knew, though. She had seen another side of him and part of her still lived in hope she might again. 

Remus was perfectly polite and very kind, even thoughtful, but there was no spark between them. They had done little more than share a few awkward snogs which repeat performances had not improved. She wondered if it would ever improve. No one else had ever paid her the slightest attention, and she knew her abilities scared many wizards while others found fault with her blood status or were daunted by her darker family connections. Unless she looked to the Muggle world or men very much older, it left her with a dearth of possible wizarding suitors. The one she most wanted kept her at arm's length and the one she preferred as a friend seemed intent on being attentive. What could she do?

"Thank you, Headmaster," Tonks said now, gracing him with a smile. Then she turned to Snape. She had no idea what she was going to say until it came out of her mouth in a blithe and cheery tone. "See you around, Sev." 

His reaction was not anger, as she had expected, nor umbrage. His dark gaze was startled and then, to her shock, turned bleak and rather lost. It made her stomach clench yet again and she abruptly longed to go to him, but the presence of the Headmaster kept her in place. 

It was far harder to lift her booted feet than she would have credited, and they seemed heavier than normal as she walked from the room, leaving many unanswered questions behind.

* * *

_July 1997_

_"How did he die?" She asked Harry. He seemed angry and determined. She insisted. "How did it happen?"_

_"Snape killed him. I was there, I saw it."_

_"Snape was a highly accomplished Occlumens. We always knew that."_

_"But Dumbledore swore he was on our side!" She cried at Remus who merely scowled and looked away. She appealed to the rest; she didn't care if she sounded desperate. "I always thought Dumbledore must know something about Snape that we didn't."_

_It was Minerva who answered her. Tonks would never forget her tear-moistened eyes. "He always hinted that he had an ironclad reason for trusting Snape. I mean with Snape's history... of course people were bound to wonder, but Dumbledore told me explicitly that Snape's repentance was absolutely genuine. He wouldn't hear a word against him."_

_"I'd love to know what Snape told him to convince him," she replied._

With Dumbledore's death freeing him of his assignment and therefore his restrictions, Remus had confided in Nymphadora what the Headmaster had asked him to do. He was deeply conflicted about Snape, but opted to listen to Dumbledore's last words to him and trust Harry. This meant he distrusted Snape. Nymphadora was not so conflicted.

She had trusted Albus Dumbledore despite his many eccentricities and so her heart ached at his lack of trust in her as well as Snape's seeming perfidy. But her dreams remained.

They were always the same -- the night Dumbledore died. The night Snape seemingly killed the Headmaster without hesitation or remorse. Like Minerva had said, Dumbledore had reason to trust Snape. Albus had not instructed _her_ to trust Harry. Neither did she mistrust him, but he had been a boy caught in a dangerous situation and boys sometimes made mistakes. 

That night had been so confusing and reports were varied and in the end, the fact Madam Rosmerta had been witness to Dumbledore's weakened state and Harry's frantic and seemingly Confunded one was enough to throw doubt over his account to the Ministry. 

In the end, the official findings by Magical Law Enforcement filed the day after Albus Dumbledore's funeral was confined to facts:

1) Death Eaters had infiltrated the school.  
2) Bellatrix Lestrange, a known torturer and devout follower of Lord Voldemort was among the Death Eaters.  
3) Harry Potter's account was fantastical and confused, and he was quite probably jinxed, hexed or simply concussed.  
4) Severus Snape had aided two students, assigning them a task that kept them safe in his own office as he went to ascertain the situation in the castle.  
5) Snape was seen by several witnesses to be following the Death Eaters in the aftermath of the battle.  
6) Only one witness, the aforementioned and considered to be unreliable witness Harry Potter, believed Snape to be working with the Death Eaters. The other witnesses believed Snape was attempting to apprehend them.  
7) Snape had an exemplary work record and no incidents of any kind or even hints of use of the Dark Arts in his sixteen years working at the school.

Thus it was determined that Bellatrix Lestrange was most likely Dumbledore's murderer and the Potter boy's account of the event was confused and inaccurate. It was also the considered opinion of the Ministry that Snape might well have been coerced or even Imperio'd into killing Albus Dumbledore by the Death Eaters. 

This last was proven false when Snape himself showed up at the Ministry the very next day following the Ministry published findings, wand in hand to swear he had not murdered Albus Dumbledore. His wand was tested and found to have not been used to cast any dark curses of any kind and the case was closed. 

Tonks had a copy of it she kept in her satchel. No one in the Order but Kingsley Shacklebolt has been witness to Snape's deposition. He had been the one to cast Priori Incantatem on Snape's wand: "birch wood, nine inches, hippogriff feather, no handle engraving. Mr Snape states for the record that it previously belonged to his mother, a witch of pureblood of the House of Prince and she gave it to him on his acceptance to Hogwarts Academy of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

 

 

Tonks scarcely remembered the location and had been confused on arrival as all the homes looked identical in the dark. Some had broken windows and some had Muggle aerials on their roofs. Snape's front window by the door was just the slightest bit crooked, she recalled, rounding the corner of the alleyway where she had accosted him and looking down the cobbled street of Spinner's End. 

It was not raining and so she did not wear a rain bonnet or Mack. She wore her solidly sensible and comfortable boots, Muggle jeans, her favourite blue "I'm just Miss, Understood?" tee-shirt over which she wore an exquisitely soft and pliable brown leather jacket. Her wand was in its holster under her jacket, and her hair was a shade lighter than its original brown. 

Snape's home was the one at the end of the row, she knew. The dingy-looking house looked the same as all its neighbours, worn but stable. If they were people, they would be the stolid, taciturn sort, rather like Snape himself, she thought.

Would he be home? Tonks only knew she had to see him, to talk to him. She was taking a risk in that she had signed herself off at work, claiming a stomach ailment. Remus was avoiding her, offering his services to Kingsley. The thought of him made her stomach clench as if she were truly ill. 

She did not love him; she knew that much already. She had known it since she had tried to use the warm feelings she felt for Remus to try to change her Patronus to something resembling a wolf. It was commonly known a Patronus often reflected a person the caster loved, Albus had informed her. He implied that her Patronus could endanger Severus and therefore she had taken pains to alter it. 

The bat that had impishly reminded her of Snape was resistant, despite the fact her Patronus reflected her Metamorphmagic abilities. She should be able to shift it, but had only managed to make it a bedraggled looking unworldly thing that slunk on four legs. Still, she kept it that way - better than giving her true feelings away. Better than hurting Remus, also.

He was a kind and decent man and they had been through much together, shared much together, and she had no wish to hurt him. But there was Snape, as well. Deep in her heart, Nymphadora knew she had seen the kind and decent man he hid within, and while they had shared only one incredible night, she had begun to love him on that night and knew she wanted to have a chance to be with him again. Whatever idea Albus had cooked up for them, she had decided, had died with him. Remus agreed, but still held to Dumbledore's wisdom regarding other issues about which Tonks decided she would make up her own mind. 

She used the tarnished brass knocker on the door, rapping it four times with an authority she did not currently feel. Her stomach was twisting and knotting yet again, now that she was so close to possible answers. 

It was not fear -- Nymphadora Tonks had no fear of Severus Snape. He might well have killed Albus Dumbledore and she would not shy from that possible knowledge, but she somehow knew he would not kill her. The man who had held her in his arms one horrible night so long ago could never do that and she knew that man still existed. 

A dark shadow moved behind the frosted pane and the door slid open a few inches, revealing a lengthy cross-section of the man in question. One dark eye peered at her and then down and around before focusing back on her. 

She found herself falling back on old habits. She cocked one hip and gave him a slightly uncertain, but genuine smile. "Wotcher, Sev." 

To her surprise, his eye shuttered and then shut tight for a moment. His voice was a rough whisper of sound she could not determine was anguished, angry or something else. 

" _Don't call me that_."

Without stopping to think, she acted on instinct. Tonks launched herself at the door, pushing Snape back and into his entryway, using a non-verbal charm to slam the door shut behind them. 

He made no move to defend or protect himself, merely staring at her with wide eyes and parted lips. 

Despite herself, Nymphadora found tears filling her eyes, beginning to spill over as she poked him in the chest with a finger. 

"That's _my_ line, Severus Snape." She huffed, sniffing and trying not to simply dissolve into sobs; every moment of the last year's worry, fear and regret was abruptly vying for expression and she felt as if she was going mad. "Don't you forget it!"

He shook his head, lank hair falling about his face, his so-beloved face and she almost did not hear his whispered declaration. 

"I haven't. I can't." His face shifted minutely and she could see the anguish in his dark gaze. " _Nymphadora._ " 

Then she was in his arms and he was holding her and she was croaking out, " _Don't call me that!_ " 

She kept rasping this out against his lips, his cheeks, his jaw, his throat, even as he was holding her to him, holding her tightly, seemingly unable to say more than her whispered name which occasioned each repetition. 

It might have been magic, but Tonks thought it might also have been their desperation that began to part them of clothing, moving only enough to rip or slip free of some confining and unnecessary thing that was keeping them from touching, from merging. 

Silence fell as she kicked off her final impediments and pushed back up against him, both breathing hard. She felt his sparse and wiry hair against her belly, along with that thick, heated length of flesh she longed to have filling her. It was already weeping its need. 

She fisted him and let him change their places, finding herself pushed against a wall of books, uncaring at the dust, the cold or the dimness, wanting only his hands, his lips, his touch. It had been far too long she had been wanting this, wanting _him_.

Tonks began to tug on that wonderful cock, exulting in the sound he made, felt herself lifted and pushed none-too-gently against the shelves and books and clung to him even as she fit him to her. 

With a ragged gasp, he joined them and then their foreheads strained against one another as each struggled to breathe enough to make it to the next moment. His hands were busy, one arm under hers, fingers splayed against her scalp and seemingly massaging it with each thrust, the other holding her by the bum, his long fingers sliding against her opening and giving her a dark, secret thrill. 

She rubbed her tits against his hard, wiry chest, delighting in his own tight nubs of pink flesh that she used one hand to flick and pinch even as her other arm held him closer to her, fingers digging into his back and hip. 

She felt a sudden sharp pain against the back of her head and along her shoulder and heard Snape mutter something. Then she watched a small cascade of dust and books which no longer struck them as they fell, but bounced off the shield charm he'd wandlessly cast as he continued to thrust and thrust and thrust. 

When she arched and slid slightly, he grunted and shifted and suddenly the base of his cock was rubbing her in a delightful way. She clenched tight around him and thrilled at the sensations carrying her now, making her want to fly. He was breathing heavily into her neck, every muscle working to bring them to completion. Sweat dripped, both striving, the scent from their lovemaking sharp and heady.

Tonks could feel the tension building, tighter and tighter and pulled him closer still, digging nails into his lower back, throwing her head back and shrieking when he bit and sucked the column of her neck and along her shoulder. Then he readjusted minutely, pressing even closer and _grinding_. 

Nymphadora _soared_ , shrieking even as her nails dug into his back, finding her pleasure from his relentless assault. She could feel his hips move in circles, striving against her and felt him stiffen a moment later, muscles straining, and a hoarse cry filled the room as he furiously climaxed within her.

 

"He told me," she whispered against his chest, nuzzling and then kissing the scant wiry strands that lightly stippled his sternum. "Remus told me what Albus had ordered."

"He should not have done so," came the unexpected whisper, belied by the kiss he bestowed to her forehead. He held her with one arm, his hand caressing her slowly, soothingly, _unceasingly_. 

"Severus... it's no good. _We_ 're no good. Remus doesn't want me. He can barely stand to touch me."

Snape's hands clenched and he stilled. "Please do not speak of it."

She sighed. "I didn't say I wanted him to. I thought it was all a game of some sort. I'd make you jealous and I'd help Remus. But it's past time for games. I can help you. We can be together now."

Long moments passed and then she felt him begin to gently stroke her again, holding her close as before. 

His voice was resonant and so tight with repressed emotion, Nymphadora closed her eyes tightly against the depth of pain she imagined he felt. 

"The road I am travelling I must traverse alone. I cannot take you with me. I will not." 

Before she could say anything in response, he shifted to bend over her and kiss her, an achingly gentle gesture that he slowly deepened. She could feel him shaking and held him to her and he pulled his head back to study her. 

Nymphadora lay before him free of artifice, of enchantment. Her soft brown hair and warm grey eyes were her own, not disguised in any way. 

His own nearly black eyes were glossy and his voice had hoarsened. 

"You are so beautiful." 

She smiled and reached up to kiss him, nuzzle his bewhiskered chin. He closed his own eyes at this and drew in a shuddering breath. 

"But you are lying with a killer."

"I know." 

He stilled and then looked on her with obvious dread. She smiled gently and sighed.

"You told Kingsley under Veritaserum that you had not murdered Dumbledore and it was true. It wasn't cold-blooded murder. You killed him. I think maybe he asked you to. Or maybe you had to. Either way, he wasn't long for this world with that cursed hand of his." 

He considered this. "I see your own fine mind has not been dulled by your Auror's training." 

She swatted at him. "Oy! No insults here. Not here." 

He bowed his head slightly by way of apology. 

"Besides, you swore you did not use any Unforgivables when you handed him that wand, but it wasn't yours was it? Kings and I both know your wand isn't birch. I don't know what wood it _is_ but it's definitely not birch and it's longer than the one described into the record." 

"I did not lie. That was my mother's wand. And she did give it to me to use when I started school. But I purchased my own wand on my leave-taking." 

"Clever clogs." She nuzzled his chest, her free hand circling one of his nipples, smiling as it tightened. 

"Nym," he warned, taking her hand in his and squeezing it gently before letting it go. "We can't. Truly. Today means more to me than words can convey, but we cannot be together in what is to come." 

She shut her eyes to this knowledge and the tears that filled them, but merely nodded. 

"Just remember you aren't alone in this. In fact, I've got a beezer of an idea."

"What is about to happen is no joke," he warned. "He will take over the Ministry and plans to roust all the Muggleborns. Your father will be in grave danger."

"He's not afraid of them."

"He should be."

"We'll think of something," she declared. "The Death Eaters are just jack-booted bullies." 

"And I am one of them," he said quietly. 

She shook her head. She tugged on his arm and he allowed it, but stilled as she rubbed her fingers along his Dark Mark. "Nym..." 

"This - this is nothing. It's the sign of a bad mistake you made when you were a kid. It doesn't reflect you now."

"Tonks..."

"Hush. I'm talking to the man I love." She pulled his arm to her, causing him to embrace her again and he shut his own eyes, feeling them prickle and burn. "He needs a lot of talking to, because he's full of bad ideas." 

"He's following orders, my dear," he said in a soft, low tone. "Whatever else you can say about this dolt that you love, never say he did not follow his orders, nor do his duty."

Tonks considered this, and he spoke again, voice dropping lower still. "And never believe he does not love you, also."

 

In the slowly growing light of dawn, Snape lay in his bed considering the woman in his arms. 

The night had been wondrous, but the cold light of day and the uncertain future lay ahead. 

"If we're ever to have a future together, you are going to have to stop thinking so much when we're in bed," Tonks murmured, still half-asleep. "Your thoughts are too loud."

He held her to him a bit tightly for a moment, saying nothing. She lifted a head, spoke softly. 

"Hey. Wotcher, Sev." 

He grunted with mild amusement and shook his head. "Good morning."

"Sun's not up yet. It's still night by my lights." 

"Perhaps it is less an observation and more something to be devoutly wished." 

She made an unhappy moue and nuzzled against his shoulder. "Too many deep thinky thoughts too early. No wonder you used to stomp about the school like a bear with a sore head."

"I want you to leave the country." 

She lifted her head again, an expression of disbelief on her face. "Come again?" 

"Take your family, as well. Leave and don't return until this has ended." 

"Did one of those books hit you too hard on the head?" 

"It's the only way to ensure your safety and that of your father." 

"I'm an Auror, Severus. I have a job and a duty, too."

"The Ministry will not be the same. Nothing will. It all draws to a close." 

"Then you'll need me."

"I will not place you in danger."

"Hello? Auror here. I _already_ face danger every day, and if you can't accept that then it's best we kiss and say good-bye." 

He held her face in his hands. 

"I can accept your job under normal circumstances, but the circumstances are not normal and may not be again for some time."

"The more reason I need to stay. I can help, whatever you say." 

He studied her for a lengthy moment, then released her, running his hands down her back and pulling her close again. 

"Do you trust me?" 

She held him tighter for a moment and merely nodded. 

"I have another idea."

"No."

"I haven't even told you yet."

"I don't care. No ideas. Not at this time. The full light of day is the time for ideas and plotting. This is the time right-minded people are sleeping or shagging. Since we aren't sleeping," She suddenly shifted her leg over his hips and settled atop him, taking his arms and holding them down by the biceps, elbows bent, hands by his head. "Best be shagging." 

She peered sleepily down at him and smiled. He simply gazed at her, sleep-tousled hair tumbled about her face, neck and shoulders blotchy from his ministrations. He felt himself hardening. 

"There now. I see which of your heads has more sense."

"Tonks..." He arched, not really struggling out of her grip. 

"Mm... I think I like it when you say my name like that," she murmured, rubbing herself along his lengthening prick with a moan of appreciation. "I think part of you likes it too." 

"Very much," he agreed with a gasp, arching his back slightly. 

"Oh, no, you don't," she chided. "You had your turn last night. This is for me." She pressed harder on his arms for leverage as she lifted her hips and began to wiggle. 

He closed his eyes and moaned and she used a non-verbal sticking charm and let his arms go. He opened his eyes as she slid slowly back to straddle one of his thighs. Testing an arm, he frowned, but she smiled impishly at him. 

"My my, I see someone is awake," she murmured before taking his straining erection into her hands. One gripped him tightly and the other slid beneath his bollocks. 

Snape groaned as she began to firmly tug and stroke the velvety skin up and down along his firm shaft, sliding it up and down over the reddened head of his cock, spreading the seeping fluid along the veined surface. Her other hand petted his bollocks before letting them go to hold her fingers against his glans. He shuddered as she gathered the copious fluid onto her fingertips, swiping them over the flared head and then moving them to the tightly budded entry beyond his perineum. 

"Wicked wicked woman..."

"Don't you forget it," she said as her fingers stroked the sensitive skin and toyed with the ring of muscle, even as her other hand continued to milk his rigid prick. 

"Oh..." 

She tightened her grip even as she began to rub her fanny along his lightly haired thigh. 

"Oh!" 

Tonks slid a finger inside him and he twisted, arching and moaning and pressing that firm, wiry thigh to her. She could feel his skin moistening from her own need and stroked him faster even as she rubbed harder against him. 

She rubbed that finger inside him firmly and he made a strangled noise, shuddering. Tonks grew very wet, his thigh now slick with her and she thrust her finger in and out, pressing firmly. 

"Tonks!" 

She smiled, leaning forward and adding a twist along his glans at the end of her stroke. 

He roared, arching and Nymphadora found her pleasure, pressing against his leg and squeezing it tightly between her own. She could feel his essence land against her neck and chest and moaned. 

She pulled her finger from him and smiled at his stunned expression. Then she gently rubbed his still jerking prick against her belly before letting him go. 

Snape just shuddered and moaned and when she released the sticking charm he drew her to him, heedless of her messy state and snogged her thoroughly, tenderly and fervently. 

"Mm." 

Tonks smiled at him when they drew apart, the room redolent of sex and the early morning sun shining over them. Then she sighed, only a touch regretfully. She drew up to look into his dark gaze and shook her head at him when he looked with alarm at the tears that were beginning to slide down her cheeks, making it clear to him they were something with which to concern himself. 

"All right, clever clogs. _Now_ is the time for plotting and planning." She sniffed, but spoke brightly if a bit sadly. "So tell me this idea of yours."

 

 

Snape resolutely did not read the paper on the day Lupin married Tonks. He smiled, however surreptitiously, when the Dark Lord and the Death Eaters fumed impotently at how the "mongrel whelp of Andromeda Tonks ~nee Black had sullied herself in marrying a sub-human creature." 

The humour he found in the spectacle of Voldemort practically frothing at the mouth remained a pleasant recollection for the many days little else in his world was amusing.

* * *

_1 August 1997_

"You've lied to me."

"No! Well..." Tonks looked a bit pale and finally sighed. "I thought it was best."

"You take me for a fool." Lupin looked both hurt and nettled. "I agreed to this farce of a marriage, Tonks, because I thought we were providing a distraction for Harry and leading the bloody Death Eaters on a wild goose chase. It's what you told me." 

"I'm sorry, Remus," she said plaintively. "I didn't sprog up on purpose."

"I'm not speaking of that!" He looked pained now and rubbed at the back of his head. "I can feel it, you know. I have a life debt now to cancel." 

She frowned at this and he glared at her. 

"Severus saved me last night. I don't know how, but I can _feel_ it, Nymphadora. I owe that traitor a bloody life debt."

"He's not a traitor."

"He's no saint." Lupin shook his head. He sighed. "Tonks, I will not give my name to a child who isn't mine."

"We already decided we would annul our marriage after the war, Remus. So it won't matter."

"It might go on for some time. Who will your baby call father if our situation has not changed in a year or more?" 

Tonks said nothing, merely looking troubled. 

"It's Snape's, isn't it?"

She shut her eyes and nodded. 

"He doesn't know, does he?"

She shook her head and then opened her eyes when she felt Remus take her hand. 

He looked troubled, as well, but no longer quite so angry as he spoke. 

"You need to tell him. And then you need to tell me... _everything_."

* * *

_3 May 1998_

"Wotcher, Sev." 

The bedbound Snape looked to her, and then straight ahead. 

The still-healing wounds to his neck required he keep still until the bone and nerve regrowth was done, a process he was thankful was but hours away. He was in a seated position and could speak, but little else. 

"How are you feeling, Severus?" 

Snape did not look over this time and Lupin stepped up to the foot of his bed, smiling at him. 

"No need to thank me. I was glad to do it," Remus said with a grin. 

Snape scowled a little. Tonks stepped up and swatted at Lupin. 

"Stop it. It's not nice to tease injured folks, Remus." 

"Oh, I have it on good authority Severus is strong as an ox," Lupin said cheerfully. "He'll be out of that bed in no time." 

"And I'll be glad of it," Nymphadora added, looking at Snape with fondness. 

Snape rolled his eyes. 

"I meant it, Severus," Remus asserted. "And not just because it discharged my life debt to you." 

The weary-looking Headmaster glared at Lupin momentarily before fixing his gaze on his blanket-covered feet. 

"Well, if saving your life doesn't make you happy, perhaps this will." 

Snape looked up as Lupin presented a scroll, and then mindful of his predicament, moved to the side of the bed and unfurled it so that the wounded man could read it. 

Dark gaze took in the proclamation and Snape frowned. Then he re-read it and looked up, looking from one to the other with a questioning gaze. His voice was raspy due to his injuries, but audible. 

"Annulment? On what grounds?" 

Remus's smile was wistful. "Unconsummated." 

Snape's expression shifted but slightly, and yet both could hear the hope in his harsh raspy voice. 

"What?" 

Tonks touched his foot and he focused on her. 

"We only married to stick it to Voldie thing and his followers, Severus. You know that. You suggested it! It was fun reading all the news accounts of how riled he was about the Black family scandal, as the Prophet put it." 

"But your baby," Snape's expression now was quite clear; the man felt gutted. "I could not fault you for deciding to be with someone else when I was so reviled and despised." 

"I sent you a message," Tonks insisted. "When I didn't hear back, I figured you were busy dealing with the school or the Death Eaters. It should have arrived because my Patronus had changed and it was fully corporeal." 

Severus's eyes shuttered closed and he swallowed tightly. "With the Dementors patrolling, the Dark Lord banned Patronuses from the school. I had little choice but to set a shield against them." 

"Oh, sweet Merlin." 

"Severus," Remus's implacable tone made him open his eyes again. He stared at Lupin. "Severus, Teddy is not mine. Tonks and I never... well, we never." 

Snape studied him for a moment before looking to Tonks who smiled beatifically at him. "Teddy is yours. And while I hope you won't mind changing his last name, I really hope you don't mind that I named him after dad. Theodore is an old family name." 

Lupin studied his old rival and ex-classmate and smiled. "I'd best go. Leave you to it." 

He headed for the door and then looked back. "Let me be the first to say it - congratulations!" 

Snape looked at him for a moment and rasped out, "Thank you. For everything." 

"Think nothing of it, Severus. I'm just glad I woke up in time. Some damn fool thought Tonks and I were dead. They had us on gurneys with the rest of the fallen. I thought they taught about the only things that kill werewolves in the curriculum." 

"You were hurt?" Snape was not looking at Remus, though, but at Nymphadora. 

She shrugged. "I got hit with an immobilising hex from some student who was trying to stun a Death Eater. Since I wasn't breathing, in the heat of the things someone assumed I was dead and put me next to Remus." 

"Yes, I'm just glad I revived in time to get everything straightened out, and to help you, Severus." 

Snape cleared his throat painfully. "I appreciate all you've done." 

"Pish tosh. Just... send me an invitation to the wedding, won't you?" 

Lupin stepped out then and Nymphadora moved closer and took his hand in hers. Snape longed to squeeze it, but could not yet move. 

"When I am freed of this body bind and fully healed--" 

"I shall expect plenty of heated attention," Tonks declared, before stroking his hand. "Oh, Severus, you should see him. He's beautiful." 

"I heard a rumour he's a Metamorphmagus." 

She nodded, smiling. "Yep. Takes after his mother. And his father." 

"He looks like me?" 

Tonks smiled. "In one regard. He's hung like a bull." 

Severus blushed and she teased, "So you really didn't see my Patronus?" 

"No. Is it a bat again?" 

"Not quite." Tonks withdrew her wand and waved it as if she was cracking a whip. "Expecto Patronum!" 

Silver-blue light shot forth and coalesced into something large, four-footed, Snape saw a hump and then suddenly the beast coalesced into perfect spectral existence. 

It was a powerful-looking bull. Close-set eyes, a seeming frown on its majestic face, and two enormous horns. 

"Remus gave you a clue earlier when he teased you about being strong as an ox." Tonks smiled. "After our last night together, Ferdinand here sprang out the next time I needed to summon my Patronus. Um... Remus never would stop teasing me about it." 

Snape blushed again, but his eyes expressed his appreciation. "He's impressive." 

"So he is." 

Nymphadora's smile grew and she leaned closer to kiss him. He reciprocated as best he could with the body bind and she pulled back regretfully when he winced from pain. She stroked his hair and caressed his face, feeling her eyes fill with happy tears. 

"Just like the man I love." 

"Nymphadora..." 

"I've told you not to call me that." 

"How about Mrs Snape?" 

"How about you kiss me, Mr Snape? And as soon as you heal up, hold me close like you won't let me go." 

"On one condition." 

"Yes?" 

"You return my favourite pair of pants." 

"The grey boxer briefs? Or the black bikinis?" 

He lifted a brow. "You have more than one pair of my pants?" 

She blushed now and admitted, "I took the ones from our last time together, too." 

"Is this a habit with which I ought become familiar? How many other men's knickers have you nicked?" 

"I'll answer that if you model them for me." 

"I thought you preferred me not to wear any." 

"Well, there is that..." 

Snape studied her as she smiled at him impishly and graced her with a small smile in return. 

"Oh, now that is a new image in my head that I really like," she told him. 

"If you stay, you're likely to see it more often." 

She stilled at the look in his eyes which were far more expressive than she thought they could be. 

"It's all I've wanted all along," she admitted. "To stay." 

"Nymphadora..." 

"Snape," she said decisively. 

He sighed and then relented. "Very well. Tonks." 

Her smile widened and she shook her head, chuckling. 

"No, no. For once, that's not what I meant, love." 

He frowned. "I'm afraid I don't follow." 

She sighed and took his hand in hers. "You called me by name. I was just confirming my last name. Or the one I'd love to have." 

His eyes widened, but he said nothing and she added quietly, "If you still want me, I mean." 

His gaze darkened, taking on an intensity that might have frightened her except she had already seen it when he made love to her and it thrilled her to her core. 

"You're all I've wanted. Even when I thought you had found comfort in Lupin's arms," he admitted. 

"He's a good man, but you're the one I want." 

"So I'm a bad man?" 

"No. You're the best one for me." She leaned in and kissed him gently, but thoroughly before adding, "You're the only one for me, Severus Snape." 

"I shall hold you to that," he replied in a husky whisper. 

"You'd better," she asserted. "Because I meant it." 

Then she sealed her promise, and their future, with a kiss. 

Finite Incantatem

_To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget._  
~ Arundhati Roy

* * *


End file.
